salu-TAY-tions

An Old Man’s Guide to Creeping Out Your Waitress

Waitress: Hi, how are you? Can I bring you something to drink?

Old Man: How much Italian blood do you have in you? 

Waitress: None, some Maltese. Can I bring you something to drink?

Old Man: How old are you, 22?

Waitress: I’m 25, sir.

Old Man: Mmmm, when someone marries you and puts a baby inside you, you’re gonna be just adorable.

Waitress: …so coffee, then?